At least he didn’t get hit in the breadbasket. 

There’s something harmonious about a team and some of it’s player all being choke artists. 

I would probably follow the clouds’ Instagram page before any “influencer”, but I’m a bitter old man.

Hopefully she’s not going to take this sitting down.

Snoop Dogg has never steered me wrong in the past, so I’m team Martha for this one. 

It really does take away from the gravy-ity of the situation by calling out that he played for the Biscuits. 

But that won’t happen with the Cubs, right? RIGHT!??!? *sobs*

When I was a younger bear and worked at a fast food place, we’d “accidentally” make too much at the end of the shift and have to take it home. 

Poor journalism not to reach out to Toby Keith for a quote.

This behavior is ridiculous. What have people become when they’ll fight at their local Costco? Everyone knows you only get into a fist-fight at WalMart for the last hot children’s toy the day after Thanksgiving.

At least now when they’re getting up early to go hunting, they can bring a few Busch Lattes for breakfast.

I just assumed he’d be a Civil War reenactor.

I’ve seen people defending the fans because “we all are mentally drained and we still have to go to work”.

With Cam Newton injured, he knew this was his only chance to take over. 

To be fair, they both ain’t here to cause no trouble, though.

“I went to the tailgate for the Playoff game, and ran into my ex-girlfriend, who I haven’t seen in years. After we made eye contact, and awkwardly said hello to each other, I was introduced to her now to the man she cheated on with me with, then left me for, and is now her husband...”

I’m going to ignore all the horrible (true) things you said about the Bears, but I enjoyed the H.H. Holmes/Chicago World’s Fair reference.

Only slightly more hazardous than being a kicker of actual bears.