You get a solid, one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand count. If you haven’t started moving, or your brake lights haven’t at least flickered off by then, you get the horn.

Because “Antonio Brown” has like 7 guitar solos and Josh Norman just bought his first Squier Stratocaster 16 months ago and he’s still learning his scales. He can do “Big Me” by Foo Fighters, though.

Except that there is no precision element to “boil-in-a-bag” given that, as the name implies, you are basically stuck at a cooking temperature of 212 degrees F.

Beef Tongue sounds like fun!

As good as the Packers were today, the Jags hung with them. Everyone knows the Packers will be there at the end of the year, but who isn’t excited to watch what the Jags do? Either ascending into the stratosphere or crashing like United 93.

No, they would not have been allowed, and you don’t have to feel strange about thinking that. Am I saying the NFL and its refs are racist? No, not really.. Am I suggesting there’s some weird shit prevalent (both in the game itself and among fans) that implicitly approves punishing a mobile quarterback for being so…

I feel strange thinking this but honestly, would those hits have ever been allowed against a Tom Brady or Drew Brees? Like I get that Cam is a mobile quarterback and his style of play opens him up to more physical hits but I can’t imagine one of those QBs being hit with the four shots Newton took last night and not…

All I can say is thank CHRIST they penalized that one guy for jumping up and down after his team scored a touchdown. We need to keep that sort of behavior in check.

This article is very timely as I’m in a “Fuck Management” type of mood and focusing all of my attention solely on donuts.

I’m going to go with Keshawn Johnson this week.

Well, they both spend a lot of time talking about walls.

It’s one syllable, duh

In his “defense” I don’t think race plays a role in his thinking. He would bench his grandmother and mother both and then call them out in detail in the press conference. “Yes they raised me, but their dumbness washed off any good familial bonds. Arthritic knees are no excuse for sitting during the anthem.” He is an…

Ok, Ok, that's all well and good, but what about the American National Anthem?

The only reason to go to South Carolina is to purchase fireworks that go more than 3 feet off the ground, which are illegal here because the North Carolina state legislature is too busy protecting us from the gays to allow any sort of fun within the borders of our fair state.

Top 8 reasons white, middle-aged Panthers fans don’t like Cam Newton:

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