Any writers out there feel depressed reading news like this? Anyone need to wallow?

I think it was his obsession with youth that made him a creep, not just being old by itself. The man chased youth like Ahab chased dick.

That's how I read it, too! I was like, how is selling Surge going to help them sell clothes?

Lego chic is so hot right now.

omg you're right! That explains everything!

Just let us believe that Taylor is lurking among us, just like Lena Dunham is.

She probably is. Because she was lurking on tumblr looking for fans to invite to her house for cookies. So now she's probably here, waiting to track down her biggest fan (who is clearly Adultosaur, Taytay, if you're reading this).

If she hadn't treated them like human sex dolls and made them act like the subservient Asian woman stereotype come to life, that would have been Ok. Like Harajuku culture is all about dressing really wildly and individually, so why would you have a bunch of Harajuku girl backup dancers all dressed alike anyway?…

In fairness, Tay probably picked up her "thirsty" usage from reading Jezebel. Lately the writers here have an obsession with the word.

And then if Gaga instructed Hoop and company to pretend they can't speak English.

Much easier to work that heroine-addicted little boy chic on taller models.

Thank you for weighing in with this expert opinion, thus saving me the hassle of attempting to do the sex with any 40 year old men.

Is Leo like using the Jonas brothers as bait to chum the waters for much younger women?

Seriously, we don't need PETA to have a discussion about what an asshole this guy is for torturing the snake. We can decide that he's an asshole with PETA's help, thanks. Fuck off now, PETA.

Let the record show that they were kapusta pierogis.

Ok, true celebrity story time: That guy literally gave my friend the shirt off his back.

I'm only joking. I have never been on a date with Drake and neither has my Polish grandmother. (But babcia is single. If you're reading this, Drake, call her.)

My Polish grandmother said that when she went on a date with Drake, he pulled her in real close for the polka set, looked deep into her eyes and kissed her. Then they made out by the pierogi table.

I finally became curious enough to look her up to find out why she's so famous. Turns out she's famous for dating Chris Brown and that's about it. She's an aspiring model, according to one bio I came across, but she's also only five feet tall, so that's probably not going to happen.

Seriously. I've even been on a few dates with Drake. (We went to the cinema. Nothing happened.)