Yeah, no one opts to fly out of DFW, that’s why it’s the fourth busiest airport in the country. That must explain why the security is so quick. American Airline’s failures don’t make the airport itself bad.

That’s definitely not true.

This was actually an ad for their new sitcom, “Triumph of the Will and Grace.”

This is the quickest I’ve ever hated someone.

Go fuck yourself

For yearbook comments, sure. I think it's the sexual assault thing that has people hung up. Weird how there are certain things that no matter how long ago they happened prevent you from achieving one of the highest, and only lifelong, positions this country has to offer.

Thank goodness somebody made this about Boston.  Good job.

that’s the joke

The Browns were +5 in takeaways today. Since the Browns returned to the NFL, teams with a turnover margin of +5 or better in a game are 132-4-1. The Browns are responsible for two of those losses and the tie.

I use the handicap stall every time I poop. It’s always cleaner and I like all the kicking room i gots in there. Really let’s a man relax while he’s trying not to let other people here him loudly fart out sprays of shit in a public bathroom and being labelled as “that guy” as you walk out in shame.

*laugh track*

He was free to express himself. And he was free to get his ass kicked. The system still works. 

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

I think it’s great! I’m glad the refs didn’t take issue with a young All-Star getting his game on and get him fed to the rules when he hit the ground running. Yes, he’s looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. But the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, so it…

You know those Mormons believe variety is the spice of life.

As someone who battles depression, what would make me happiest right now is for you to die a slow painful death.

it’s several words put together asking for a response

I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that it all started going downhill for Boston when Lauren Theisen referred to them as the ‘Tics.

I recognize that I am not qualified to speak on this case or the larger issue of domestic violence. So I won’t. Hope everyone has a great Friday.

You should. Wendy’s twitter account is actually pretty funny