And I know that whenever *I* have to deliver a report that says “Nothing happened, no crime committed, everything looks perfect”, I always take 400 pages to say it.

You know the manager isn’t the same thing as the owner, right?

Is that you Eric?  Be Best.

Nah, fuck him. You get disability sympathy when you aren’t trying to turn America into Gilead But Less Humane.

meh, I didn’t even see that shit. 

Pretty sure that Trump would have taken Melania down with him.

Mitch’s people are STILL hung up on all those videos of Hillary Clinton tripping up stairs or stumbling out of a van doorway. I’d say turnabout is fair play.

Good thing he didn’t fall on his back or he would’ve never been able to get up.

Oh, I am enjoying this tremendously! Maybe he’ll finally have a stroke and get out of our hair.

Dude, seriously, I usually just dismiss or ignore your stupidity, but this is too good.

Too bad he didn’t fall on his back. He’d still be laying there to this day pathetically waving his stubby limbs around and slowly opening and closing his beak.

The only problem is that he didn’t hit his head on the ground and was killed instantly. 

“The white moderate is the biggest problem we have”

an alternate bill that would tie the minimum wage to the local cost of living—ensuring that those in poorer areas remain poorer.

They didn’t subpoena the President. The head of the congressional oversight committee for taxes did something a touch sneakier. He basically told the IRS “You do mandatory examinations of Presidential tax returns at the IRS. That process is an IRS guideline, not a federal law. The oversight committee needs to justify…

Trump might be the fatal disease, but McConnell is the one actively shutting down our immune system. 

And the total hypocrisy of them having spent so much time calling for Hillary’s head over merely having a private email server. She had the courage and tenacity to face an unnecessarily long witch hunt investigation head on, and spent zero time whining about it on Twitter or trying to obstruct justice. That’s called…

Eh, it’s over. 7/4/1776 - 11/9/2016.

Counterpoint: if Bernie were your dad, you’d be filthy stinking rich! So there’s that

Did you seriously refer to him as “my Dad”? Christ, that’s pathetic.