This response cracks me up. 

Honestly, humans might be one of my biggest concerns when it comes to cats being outdoors. People are dicks and are often specifically horrible toward cats.

Equally sad, just in different ways.

100% accurate.

I like the crispness of a Honey Crisp, but honestly the flavor just seems bland to me. Still way better than a Red Delicious though.

GOOD. Red Delicious are not delicious and are, in fact, mealy, bland trash. Give me a nice, crunchy, tart Macintosh any day instead.

I thought I’d read somewhere before that the cats-decimating-birds issue isn’t quite as black & white as most people think. Ferals and cats originally raised & trained to hunt as feral/semi-feral kittens are a big problem in this regard, yes. But supposedly your average indoor/outdoor housecat is just too clumsy to do…

I’ve read even shorter numbers for average outdoor lifespans, like 2-4 years or something ridiculous like that. (I’m at work and can’t really go digging around for sources right now, so take that number with whatever grain of salt you like).

Oh for sure. I’m guessing the biggest danger is cars but based on how much vitriol some people spew about hating cats, I’d wager there are plenty of sick fucks out there who would gladly hurt a cat that randomly wandered their way.

Oh god. THOSE people. “Oh, our cat lives outdoors and isn’t neutered because that’s just how it’s done here.” Eff that. Unless you live on a farm and rely on cats keeping mice under control, buck up and have your cat fixed instead of letting it run around having litters all over the place. Humane societies are stuffed…

I really don’t get the passionate Outdoor Cat People mindset. If you give your cat enough stimulation and play, they should be fine indoors. Cats that go outside have on average significantly shorter lifespans. If really you want to let your cat outside, why not put it on a leash and take it for a wander? It’s really…

Hahahaha! Accurate.

Shit, he probably just buys military surplus instead, now that I think about it. Dude’s prob got a whole basement stockpiled with giant industrial sized cans of questionable soups.

Cruz seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t even shell out for Campbell’s Chunky—he’d just buy the Store Brand Chunky soup.

I always feel like a dumbass whenever I tell someone, “omg this is so great, I need your recipe!” and they tell me it’s from a box. Apparently my tastes are not sophisticated as this has happened to me more than once.

100% me too. Y’all can keep your crusty brownie edges and just give us the deliciously gooey middle bits.

While I respect your right to enjoy brownies sans frosting, I once worked in a cafe that had THE BEST brownies ever, and they were frosted. The frosting was basically just a chocolate fudge layer on top of an already-delicious fudge brownie.

Herbal teas FTW! It’s amazing how many different herbs can be used for these purposes.

I use Instagram because I’m a crafter/artist and it drives me nuts how many garbage OBVIOUS bots/ads I get giving me likes or the ol “follow/unfollow” trick. Like no thanks, I’m not gonna follow you back, random Instagram lifestyle “influencer”.

Burn salve, aisle 1!