there are forms you submit to schools that will exempt your child from vaccines; usually it's for religious reasons or immunocompromised kids. However, some areas of the country are allowing vaccine opt outs b/c you have wackadoodle ideas about shit.

no way. I was born in 1981 and I vehemently refute this designation.

following me into the bathroom happened in Tennessee. But I live in Colorado now, so far I've only had to tell a kid no I don't want your pamphlet about Jesus.

me too! I've also gotten Daria, although that might be more for what I say than for being a nearsighted brunette.

do it. I'll buy one to wear when I'm running errands on the weekends and Christian fundamentalists follow me to the bathroom to invite me to their church.

this sounds like the very best way to spend Christmas.

it's been a while, but I don't remember feeling like my brain wasn't working properly while knocked up. However, I was SO HUNGRY literally all of the time, that having a conversation about anything that wasn't food would get only about 5% of my attention. I was listening, but imagining the speaker as a giant, talking…

of course. I meant to say something to that effect, somehow I thought it but didn't type it .

But I like being around my kids so muchore when I'm drunk.

For every 5 well behaved kids you see in public, there is at least one kid who isn't getting his way, having a bad day, or is just an asshole. And even those well behaved kids have their moments. Which is why I never judge someone by how their kid is acting at that particular moment- it could just as easily be me…

I feel like this doesn't address marriage as much it does the aftermath of having a wedding. I've been married for 10 years and I really wish someone had told me about how often I would have to discuss my husbands bowel movements. For the record, it's lots.

whoa. Middle picture. Can I hump a picture? I'm going to try.

yeah. Seriously dude- do what you gotta do to feed your baby. Other people's choices in this areana do not affect me. I made my own choices concerning my children and it's all cool. Just because I'm judging you in my head doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you need to do.

I understand that it varies not only from state to state, but possibly county to county. West Virginia FTW- it might have been $35, it was a decade ago. And I guess if you factor in the clothes we bought to get married in ( sundress from Jcrew clearance rack and glittery flip flops; new button down for him) plus the…

that's awesome! Good for you.

if anyone tries to tell you that it isn't a real word, tell them that I was an English major and therefore the authority on words. And student loans.

I feel ridiculously competent in answering this right now as today is the first real day of my period (like actually warranty sanitary items, not just random bronwish blurps- yes I am totes that gross).

ohmygod. Fuck this shit. I got married in a courthouse for $30 b/c I could not deal with daily phone calls from my mom about fucking napkin colors. She was planning this THING and I didn't want anything to do with it. I just wanted to get married. So, the idea that there's a website for a wedding (seems sort of useful…

In college, I lived with a girl who swore that she didn't pee in the shower- which kind of blew my mind at the time b/c why the fuck not? She also claimed to never masturbate, which, ok whateves, do what you want or not as the case may be- but I never really trusted her after that.