It is quite the shit show to watch the entire GOP establishment flail trying to defend this gaggle of chucklefucks. I’m comforting myself with the thought that maybe when the Trump clan finally goes down - and you know they will because a successful crime family can’t be composed of 100% Fredos - their apologists will…

oh my god I just aspirated a donut laughing. Near-death LOL for the win.

We all know David stays in his office to eat lunch every day with nothing but a flat Pepsi and a big bag of Sabor de Soledad.

Counterpoint: Sandwich Jane is entirely fictional. She is clearly a straw poor. This is a nice attempt at the “Some of my best friends are poors” privilege defense, but its fatal flaw is that everyone knows David Brooks doesn’t have any friends.

this is a shitty thing to say about Patton Oswalt, who clearly loved his wife desperately and who was incredibly open and raw about the depth of his love and about the pain that losing her caused him and his child. I sure hope that if I drop dead tomorrow, my husband meets someone he falls in love with sooner rather…

Oh man, traveling in Europe 2000-2008, so many people asked me about GWB so often that I essentially started to kick off conversations with new acquaintances by saying “Hi, I’m Bea, I’m an American, don’t worry, I think Bush is a goddamned nightmare.” I am SO IRRITATED with my fellow citizens for forcing me to defend…

When I was there pretty soon after the Soviet collapse, everyone liked to say that the best view of Warsaw was from the top of the Palace of Science and Culture - because it’s the only place you can’t see it.

The cost of that lesson for them is actual human lives, so, how about no

He’s doing this on purpose to distract from the ongoing saga of the Senate healthcare fiasco and from a pretty decent sprinkling of scandal-related stories to come out in the last few days. He does this every time he wants to change the subject and shake up the news cycle. He has never cared if press was good or bad,…

I have a not-particularly-precocious 6 year old who would blow him out of the water in terms of aptitude and demeanor. It’s true that sometimes my kid just chants the word “poop” for no reason, but that would still be more dignified and less caustic than this shit.

My six year old is way more coherent than Trump and uses far more complex sentence structures. Almost all the six year olds I spend time with do. The stream of consciousness trailing off into endless parenthetical tangents is totally six, but the near-gobbledygook content - I’M THE BEST AT CYBER, EVERYBODY LOVES ME,…

You can’t possibly mean you aren’t making calls because you want to spite Trump voters? Because if your point is anti-Trump, #letthemdie is pretty fucking Trumplike. If anything I’d be happy they were coming around and welcoming, because peel those fuckers off his magic shoot-someone-in-the-street 34%.

Oh, my God, my heart is breaking for this poor girl and her poor family.

what the fuck is wrong with everyone in that family? How do they not know what face to make when a camera points at them? Jared looks like he needs a futuristic Nehru jacket and a big white cat to Bond-villain it up, and the brother looks like he went to the Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good.

Another classic. I feel like “orange + despot” is done to death but I love both of these.

A big star for SCROTUS. I thought I had seen so many Trump nicknames that I was immune to them, but SCROTUS made me chortle out loud.

- a Southern Belle whose crocheted petticoat conceals an extra roll of toilet paper

Trump certainly might try to get Mueller killed, but he’d probably hire some flamboyantly incompetent ersatz hitman who would repeatedly get foiled by his own traps. Think Tom Clancy adapted by Blake Edwards.

(3) he cozied up to the Russians during the campaign to further enrich himself, thinking he’d never actually be President, and then this whole branding exercise got out of hand. He is too vain not to try to quash any investigation that feels like an insult, he’s too stupid to even contemplate what is and isn’t allowed…