Shouldn’t you have to understand even a teensy bit about the Constitution to be a Congressman? Like, for instance, the part about freedom of religion, or the part about innocent until proven guilty? Quite apart from the naked racism, the “kill the suspects” thing is particularly jarring. I want to believe this is a…

Len and Bob are a fucking nightmare. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard those two dingledongs say, in lieu of play-by-play of any kind, “Well would you look at that!” and leave it there. I hate them. PAT AND RON FOREVER.

Lindsey is a genuinely witty and extemporaneously funny guy. He’s the king of GOP off-the-cuff one-liners. “That’s the first thing I’m going to do as President - we’re going to DRINK MORE.” “Make America great again - tell Donald Trump to go to hell.” Ritual phone destruction. Rotating first lady. MUCHO SAD.

In the Terry Gross interview, Franken said Republicans and Democrats alike were wary of him when he got to the Senate - Republicans because they worried he was just going to make fun of them and Democrats because they thought he’d be a media hog - and he wanted to signal that he was serious about doing the job. So he…

She isn’t alone in taking a stand, to be sure, but nobody’s side-eye can peel paint like hers. She is a glorious bodhisattva of side-eye.

A GALAXY WORTH OF STARS FOR YOU

This is truly terrible slashfic just waiting to happen. GET ON THIS, INTERNET, WHERE ARE YOU.

I feel you on the sensory overload horror of it all - but whenever I see someone throw up their hands like this and say“let them suffer the consequences,” it makes my stomach knot a little. It’d be great if somehow these chucklefucks only screwed over the people who voted for them, but we all know that’s not how any…

I hate to say it but don’t count your chickens of justice before they hatch. Justice incubators have a depressingly high failure rate and even the best-case gestation period can still take forever.

I love this story - it made me guffaw. And let’s be real: who among us hasn’t at some point thought a goose deserved a punch to the head? Nipping at your baby girl seems like a perfectly good justification for goose-head punching.

Oh, it won’t just be the worst British politicians trying to capitalize on this. Expect maximum opportunistic bombast from the American right.Trump is no doubt rubbing his tiny hands together with relish as he contemplates how he can use this terrible tragedy to pivot out of the hot seat.

oh my god, geese are complete dicks. They’re not even nice to each other. At the park, I constantly am hissing at my six year old “don’t go near the goose, honey, you know geese are jerks.”

Same. The length of time she is underwater feels like ETERNITY. My kid fell into a pool 20 feet away from me and he was in over his head for barely an instant - I turned into Yusein Bolt in that moment and he still grabbed the side and bobbed up of his own accord before I got there, nearly instantly - but it felt like…

he’s going to get the Nixon special from Pence (or Ryan, or Hatch, or whatever godforsaken soul gets to step into the smoking rubble after he’s finally toast): Resign and I’ll pardon you.

you know what, he was right - I am sick and tired of all this winning!

Well, and only the grapefruit would deign to spend an afternoon with a woman not its wife

I look forward to her future consignment to the most hellish garbage crevasse of the dustbin of history.

Oh my God I love this pic

Of course we all suspected this, but it’s still lovely to know for certain that she knows full well what right and wrong is, but happily and knowingly sold out literally the entire country just to get hers. Ugh it’s hard to not want to go full torches and pitchforks here.

I get why he did it the first time - because he was a dumbass - but how did he say “Two Corinthians” twice? Is he doubling down on the stupid? Is this a coded message to the stupid caucus? Is it a meme or something now? Or is he just so addled that he has no memory of when he said “Two Corinthians” the last time and…