Ha, so did Donald Tr—

Literally.

My first job was spending part of a summer packaging MREs for minimum wage. The plant tried to rotate us from day shift to night shift, and I was a few weeks from going back to school, so I quit. I’m sure that’s their strategy to increase turnover so they don’t have to provide benefits.

In 2009, my future wife and I moved to Columbia, South Carolina. For Halloween that year, I put on a suit and backpack, carried a walking stick, and made an “Argentinian Trail” patch. If only all my costumes were so easy to come up with.

I was just thinking of “Ironic” as i glanced at my phone and saw this headline. Isn’t that…coincidental?

Eh, with the way this administration is going, a Never-Nude Blue Guy seems more appropriate.

True Story: One day, when I was getting ready for elementary school, I went to my dresser, pulled out a pair of briefs, and absentmindedly put them right on top of my head. Fortunately, I realized my mistake pretty quickly.

Street Proselytizer: “Hi! Are you familiar with Jesus Christ?”

Da-da-da-dumb!
POOT POOT

“Plumbers HATE Him!”

And before the election, that restaurant was packed to the gills!

Two!
Two!
Two-butted goat!

I did. My wife’s uncle got it on demand when we were visiting his family for Thanksgiving. It was…not good. And very orange-and-teal, if memory serves.

One high school newspaper even performed journalism that resulted in their principal’s resignation over dubious credentials: http://www.npr.org/sections…

“Hey, the Union won. Get over it!”

Well, it’s “Gandhi,” so it’s two for two.

ORB / GLOW CLOUD 2020

“Oh! Excuse me. I thought that lower case v on your sign was an r. Please forgive my misunderstanding. I shall bid you adieu.”

I’m sorry I doubted you. It just seemed too good to not be a reference…which I realize sounds like a backhanded compliment.

I really hope this was just an ad-lib. Google suggests so.