Or for “depression,” which, if you’ve never experienced it, thank your lucky stars.

What’s not worth it: guys unvelcroing and re-velcroing their batting gloves after pitches at which they did not even swing. That ain’t Walter Johnson out there, Cochise. You and your magic necklace get back in and hit the fucking ball, we have places to be.

SECURE THE BORDER ALREADY!

Fuck Pedro Strop and his fucking hat.

“...not conceding a single blade of grass to their opponent.”

Nah, he’s counting Darrell Wallace, Jr. as 3/5 of one. #toosoon?

Puckett then groped the guy’s sister, so.....

The notebook deeply regrets the role it played the night of the incident.

How will I explain this to my child?

I guess it would have been out of the question for some rookie to RUN DOWN TO THE FUCKING BULLPEN, huh?

I’m guessing he choked the shit out of Stephanie when he got home for getting the months wrong on Ray Donovan.

Hope Solo believes Brittney Griner needs to chill the fuck out.

Pay attention? To baseball?

And none of these fuckers gave a shit about who won the Arthur Ashe Courage Award prior to yesterday.

Traffic (not Davidson directly) was propping up the NASL at one point. But now NASL owners include Bill McGuire (very rich, through some shady means), Bill Edwards (very rich), Tom Fath (pretty rich), some Arab guys (very very rich), some Brazilian guys (not sure how rich), Ersal Ozdemir (pretty rich), John Pugh (not…

Correction, I am wrong: CONCACAF allocates spots to federations. USSF does decide how to divvy up those spots. They give them to MLS and the US Open Cup champion, while Canada gives theirs to the winner of their MLM-sponsored tournament. I withdraw my previous statement.

Secondly, the CCL is a CONCACAF tournament (it’s even the first “C”!). It’s not up to USSF to give anyone berths in CONCACAF’s tournament. (Not to mention they can get in by winning the US Open Cup. Oh, wait, that has happened exactly once.)

Yessssss....because the world precedent is for second-division clubs to get automatic entry into continental competitions.

I don’t know...is it your job to write about this?

ESPN is so pissed at Rovell, they fired Simmons again and suspended Max Bretos one more time.