David Whitley? Is that you?

Agreed. When they're "on," it's REALLY good. But not everything is the same quality. I can do without Nina and Lance.

Yeah, but you can't expect people to WATCH television, can you? I mean, when the scorebug has "UCONN" and "GATORS," doesn't that make you think? And, yes, the "(Team name) Teamcast" thing should have been a clue. But this is our country. This is America in 2014.

Loved Carlin, but the median person would have half the people stupider than him or her. And I'm ruining the curve anyway.

They can both pull birds, man.

Yes, they've shed a bunch of payroll, that was my point. Their owners are over-extended from the purchase, though, which is why they're ( a ) intent on getting revenue-enhancing improvements to Wrigley and ( b ) considering selling part of the team. The Ricketts' are watching dollars now.

Early adopter of the "this is going to complicate things unnecessarily" point of view here.

"Ghetto tendencies," or is it imprudent of me to use that?

Yeah, sorry for not making a fucking dick joke.

He's a kid. If he were preternaturally good at everything, we probably wouldn't have a shot at him.

Given how much payroll they have shed and how over-extended they are, they will probably replace the equipment guy with the ninth caller.

You're right, Dooley was a citizen at birth. I was thinking of David Regis, who WAS actually naturalized (but prior to 1998, not 1994). Stand corrected.

He didn't look completely overwhelmed.

I believe Dooley was the only German "naturalized" (not nationalized) prior to the 1994 World Cup, wasn't he? Or were you just referring to all the various naturalized players (which would include Preki and possibly Klopas, who was born in Greece, but went to high school in Chicago )?

You are on the road. There should not be anything in your locker that you should not be able to wear that day. If a uniform is worn and washed, it should then be stowed for the next time it is needed. If that's not today, keep it stowed.

Was at the game last night. Kid didn't look completely out of his element, showed some pace. Did some good things, but turned the ball over and didn't show a whole lot of quickness of decisions (do many teenagers?). I'd just as soon have him as not have him at this point, but we do have a habit in this country of…

He has been all over the place since then and hasn't stuck for very long. I THINK his longest stint anywhere was with DC United. Since then it's been a sad decline. I believe he's out of contract and teamless at the moment, and he even apparently turned down a chance to play for the NASL's Atlanta Silverbacks recently.

No, the point is you're a nutjob.

Plus, like your campaign for US Soccer president proved, you're a nutjob.

Went to Germany 2006. Best trip ever (even with the three-and-out). Had no interest in going to South Africa or Brazil. Wanted to go to Russia, but, thanks, Putin, that's not going to happen. Not going to Qatar. Maybe Australia in 2026 or something.