I went back months in my email to find my burner key so I could tell you how much I love this comment. Amazing.

That is horrible.

I was just thinking about how I've never had my space invaded on a plane by a fat or super tall person, although I have sat next to them...but EVERY SINGLE TIME I sit next to an average sized male, I have to fight to have just the space in my own seat. You are right about overprivileged people being the actual proble.

Yuuup. I liked the convo you and I were having. Oh wells.

Agreed all around!

You obviously are not aware of what women go through on the regular and how MOST people are not trying to give me a nice compliment so it actually makes sense for me to be on the defensive. Which is what this article IS ABOUT.

Yes exactly all this.

That's called being selfish. That's why people don't like us.

You know what would probably stop discussions of white people being so racist all the time? If white people and the systems we built weren't so racist all the time!

It's on us to prove we're not all like that, not on the oppressed to learn it.

I went through my delicate flower phase and I'm trying to get out of it. The problem with us white people is we don't realize OTHER WHITE PEOPLE raised us as delicate flowers. The easiest way to avoid changing the system is to believe there is nothing wrong with it in the first place.

Yeah, basically people want to just believe they are good people without having to think about how their actions (or inaction) affects others.

It's totally natural to internalize that sort of thing. But as long as you realize the reaction you have is not actually useful to the conversation AND you don't exhibit the problematic behavior, then you are helping to make progress.

See but having introspection and awareness means you can't avoid responsibility.

That being unable to talk about the game is because of a lot of hard work from those running it.

You get it. It's completely unnecessary. Because you are not a completely selfish person (you are practicing self awareness instead - which is much more useful), you acknowledge that your attraction is yours and really has nothing to do with the situation. My question to you about your motivations (and curiosity is…

I think the problem is with the type of compliments that people think women want. If you were a colleague you wouldn't tack on "and you're adorable" to a critique of ANYONE'S work. It's just irrelevant what you (or anyone) think of her appearance. But people have been trained to think that that is how women should be…

Exactly, they think it's the correct compliment because women are only important if they're attractive.

This this this this

:( I'm sorry.