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10/10/14 8:57AM
1

Oh how lucky. Proper que suerte action. We ought write a book together. It's rather annoying that the title 'A Low Life In High Heels' is already taken. Read more

10/10/14 8:22AM
1

Once I had love, and it was a gas. Soon turned out, had a heart of glass.

10/10/14 7:10AM
1

Honestly, the best kids are other people's kids. It's so much more fun to be the loony aunt/uncle/auncle. I love the little fuckers, between about 4 and 9, after that they turn into assholes for a few years, but even then, it's mad good fun being the only person they trust in their teen rebellion. Read more

10/10/14 6:44AM
1

Shit, dude. That whole story is ugly as a hat full of Tori Spellings. On the plus side, no periods! The freshest white silk knickers in town! And no little assholes that need their power bill paid, just this month, mum, I promise. Silver linings!

9/23/14 5:27PM
2

I think y'all have that market cornered.

9/23/14 5:10PM
10

But then you're drinking at a Ren Faire, so.

9/23/14 5:08PM
10

It was so much easier to be shifty before 1990.

9/23/14 5:05PM
2

On my 14th birthday, my step dad, who worked at the local University, presented me with an authentic ID from said Uni, and said "Here, happy birthday, you little prick, now get the fuck out of the house and give me and your mother some fucking peace" Read more

9/23/14 3:25AM
2

That's a $4500 watch, actually. And an $800 wallet. I'm surprised that he didn't mention that it's Damier canvas. What a wanker. Read more

9/22/14 4:34AM
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Because, dear, not all dearly held beliefs have a place in the modern world. How about the KKK? They hold their beliefs quite dearly. Are we to tolerate their's, similarly?

9/16/14 12:10PM
5

Recent residents of Williamsburg deserve the L.

9/03/14 9:53PM
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Nobody wants to live in Boston.

9/03/14 1:35PM
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Lovely delicate chain there, girl. Ice cold.

9/03/14 1:34PM
1

Whilst this ensemble is the antithesis of 'cool', one should always encourage any blouse that displays such a magnificent cleavage. Read more

8/28/14 11:49AM
1

I'm a drunk, and I'm ok with shooting drunk drivers.