Sorry folks, Astroworld has been closed since 2005. Moose out front shoulda told ya.

If you straighten out the paperclip, and stick it in the tiny hole on the West side of FirstEnergy Stadium, it will reset the Browns and they can start from scratch.

Not a huge surprise. When you're cleaning up after a scandal like this, you have to start at the top, and everyone knows you can't run a train without the head trainer.

HA! Filmore with one L is always more amiable than Fillmore with two L's. We must ban the two L Fillmore's.

Haven't seen this many Miami pros and cons since the last Dolphins-Hurricanes scrimmage.

Neither one can make it through a play?

While I understand Drew's sentiments, it's also a painful reminder of the double-standard LGBT people have to face. If we want to be integrated into anything, we not only have to be good at it, we have to be better at it than most straight people. Want to get married? Prove you're "not a threat" to families. Nevermind…

Do to a horrific scheduling snafu, biathalon was scheduled at the same time as the Skiathlon. We will release the names after the families have been notified.

someone had left an indeterminate amount of semen on the sheets of the second bed, and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn't come back.

Hell, it beats the signs in Rio:

PSA: Don't buy White Castle burgers from a guy at White Castle. They were made at White Castle.

Wow, she went with the Detroit mullet: vacant, graffitied business on the left, overgrown disgusting piece of property on the right.

Blessed are they who did not see Tebow play, and yet believe.

A-Rod: "You guys know how to play 'La Bamba'?"

Now wonder Kidd enjoyed meeting Lukas Podolski, it must've been a treat to meet a pole without an airbag smacking him in the face.

I do a variation of this on hotel mirrors. I write "REDRUM" or "How YOU doin'?" ususally.