Tebow 27:26

@Who da Man(ning)?: Is that anything like the Purina One challenge?

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Fellow Houstonian!

@Nickly: Or as future Raider first-round selections. #tennesseevolunteers

@Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: Must be a very close clubhouse. #brettmyers

@UkraineNotWeak: In his defense, he thought she was just a table. Pretty impressive that she could balance breadsticks and a 44 oz Coke. #kansasstatewildcats

@HollywoodBob: But the book was much better than the movie... #kindle

Private Pile is tired of his shit.

Do you know how good Kate Hudson tastes after she's been marinating in a hot tub filled with maple syrup all day? I think not.

@TheUCanes: You sound like a former Hurricane announcer...

Bruce Bowen learned something I learned long ago: hair salon > Milwaukee.

The team is now in the hands of a hated no talent ass clown

no one is going to want to trade for a spoiled brat wide receiver

@Weed Against Speed: I usually just give him half a bottle of nyquil and chain him to his bed.

Ted Thompson has really let himself go.

Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes

This was the worst alcohol-purchasing decision since I purchased that pallet of Zima.

Batdad can take both these guys.

"I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard." -Caster Semenya

@What Would Tim Tebow Do?: Close, if only Houston wasn't already in Texas.