Jump Merrill

Would you mind being a little fewer of an asshole?

A car has about as much business being in the bike lane as a jogging stroller does. Holy fuck.

if you're a flake, just move to California, you'll fit right in

Some people are haters of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are haters of Philadelphians.

We have always been at war with East St. Louis.

Fun times in Cleveland today! CLEVE-LAND!

Counterpoint: Hey, I can’t hit a fastball either. Me and Tulo have a lot in common. I wonder if his dick has also stopped working

I no shit saw a guy walking through BWI today with a tuba (or French horn or Sousaphone or some shit) wrapped around him. He wasn’t part of a ceremony or anything, he was just some sad bastard in a dress shirt and khakis wearing a gigantic brass instrument like a sash. Can we agree that that instrument, whatever it…

Satan would be a savvier, crafty politician. She's a run of the mill phony.

He vetoed a minimum wage increase bill for I think seven years before finally getting overridden in 2004. It’s surprising that he was overlooked in the field given that kind of tenacious commitment to fucking over the people who work the hardest for the least amount of money.

Our government ships weapons to guys like this every day. Priorities in order.

You forfeit your right to participate in a protest if you receive a scholarship?