Tom is hawking my tickets. I stopped using another fellow because he promised to return my unsold tickets and didn’t.

I’m sure they have their reservations.

Wow, Oakland can’t even keep their Civil Rights attorneys from heading to Vegas.

Leo and Sam Jackson from Django

Sam playing the ultimate House Slave in that movie

I guess that’s how she saw Ray Ray

HIs hair is done in a style that I would be admonished for, therefore, I wish nothing but ill will upon him; for I am a reasonable man of the Internet and am infallible

-1899: Brooklyn Bridegrooms steal signs using a steam-powered periscope
-1919: Elaborate telegraph system relays signs to the Chicago White Sox, relays bets from the team to Arnold Rothstein
-1941: Ted Williams hits .400, “steals signs” by having sufficient eyesight to see the spin on every pitch, and look into the…

Lest we forget, Webb was also the guy who broke up Brett Favre’s consecutive games streak, making this the second time he’s been brought in to cover up an unconcealed croc.

“Jolie has also been dealing with her cancer recovery” 

It’s been a while, but I believe that the post-WWII Japanese government abolished all aristocracy in Japan except for the direct imperial family. So literally the only way a royal female can marry a not-commoner is to commit incest.

Hopefully it’ll be something quick, like:

It’s really not ok to “out” anybody. Love and let love, brother.

Do not hate LaVar Bell. You are playing right into Lavar Bell’s hands if you hate Lavar Bell. You are giving him more power by hating, you are enhancing his image if you hate him, you are making him larger if you hate him. Like Freddy Krueger in the first Elm Street.

And they all have to live in a bus.

LaVar Ball and Kris Jenner should get married to form the Brady Bunch of leech parents and superfluous siblings.

This is progress. Usually Cleveland police protest browns by shooting them.

People are getting very creative with their excuses to avoid watching Browns games.

Yesss put down your DraftKings app, Jezebel readers (jk, jk).

Ronimal!

I mean, using periscope to show people how you get supplies to victims of a flood seems pretty goddamn funny.