It’s just unfortunate that he calls the maneuver “the night-off boat ride.”

“My fellow Americans, as you know, President Worldwide represents more than just the 305.”

I think he’s just questioning the intensity of Mick Foley.

Hmmm...

#itfdb = I totally fucked dat bitch?

“99% of athletes go pro in something besides sports,”

If that doesn’t scream “bring back Fireman Ed,” nothing will.

“It wasn’t Zeke. It was a single man in the schoolbook depository. He acted alone.”

Don’t you hang this shit on the Easter bunny, motherfucker. NOT...HIS...FAULT.

Don’t you hang this shit on the Easter bunny, motherfucker. NOT...HIS...FAULT.

That’s so her. I’m just happy she got a job.

A windstorm during a bicycle race. Hmm, I guess it is possible for something to blow and suck at the same time.

ITV later sung an apology:

Mr Burke, as longtime admirers of yours will no doubt agree, your internet-use patterns go into a depth and specificity rarely seen outside of the robot world. How many of us look for the Russian feeds of Korean baseball games or raw video of Wisconsin high school beauty contests? Only blessed few weirdos, sir.

Huh. Surprised they let the stuff into the Jets locker room.

If it’s known by HR, I believe it’s still grounds for termination but still protected against disclosure.

I think you are drunk or heavily into mind altering chemicals or auditioning for some kind of fringe religious community.

Now do one with LeBron playing sensible team defense!

I’d be much more interested in his thoughts on Antoine Walker.

I can’t tell where muppets end and where Ed Sheeran begins.