This is the correct answer. Trump asked, “do you want to be filthy rich and hardly work, or get face fucked by the senate and disgraced further?”

And they say no one writes letters anymore.

Reagan was paternal! I mean, not to his kids and he was treated like a baby by his wife — but still!!

Some people are really working hard on their “bad celebrity interaction” stories.

Pretty sure we’ll all be Tsai Ing-Wen china drops its first nukes.

I’m tempted to give to Against Malaria, but shouldn’t I wait to hear both sides?

Says the guy going into every fight with these guns:

If only someone had given him this site’s greatest maxim: stick to sports.

Tl;dr version:

He will soon learn the foresight of the axiom “good fences make good neighbors.”

Could have really used him this weekend, when I was stymied by a particularly stubborn relish jar.

Carr: Hike! *snap* *snap!*

Just like Michigan girls, I gather.

Still fits with the bulk of NBC’s programming.

So, the pitch was rushed by English football hooligans?

Chaka, I love you, but you’re 63. We should have talked to you about your childhood dying a looooooong time ago.

It’s times like these when I really wish I had thanksgiving at the Gronkowski house.

It even says STOP in the background. The world’s trying to give you a hint, Lili.

The leader of North Korea. Read a book.