maybe you just need stronger coffee... I did all of that before 7am

Yeah, I didn't have an absent dad. I had a very present, Christian Evangelical dad. He was a good father for the most part. He raised us in the faith. When I became an adult, I became a non-believer for the simple reason that I didn't believe in it any longer. It wasn't some dramatic event and I wasn't angry at my…

Rather than “Values Voters” I think we should start calling the Trumpkins the “Play Russian Roulette With Your Foot” Voters.

Her clothes are boxy and short-waisted, with weird zippers and gold accents. I’ve come across things and tried them on out of curiosity but they all looked bad on me. There was one dress I liked on the hanger but when I put it on the waist came up two inches below my boobs and then sprang out from there. I looked…

Steve Bannon looks like the first few seconds after opening the Ark of the Covenant.

Steve Bannon looks like the birthday clown that has a restraining order to not be within 100 yards of a Chuck E. Cheese.

Steve Bannon looks like he never even saw the divorce papers coming.

Steve Bannon looks like the guy who reveals his concealed gun every so often to make sure you know he’s got one.

Steve Bannon looks like how I imagine he smells.

Steve Bannon looks like a guy who hangs out at the strip club on Sunday afternoon for the buffet lunch.

Steve Bannon looks like the guy who hangs out at game stores and tells all the 16 year olds about the valuable Magic: The Gathering cards he totally used to have, but his damn harpy wife took ‘em all when they got divorced before it quickly becomes apparent he’s never been married.

Steve Bannon looks like a mall Santa who got fired for beard lice.

Steve Bannon looks like the odd man out at a swingers party attended by Ted Cruz.

Steve Bannon looks like Seth Brundle if they remade The Fly using a syphilis bacterium instead of a housefly.

Steve Bannon looks like he discovered freebasing discount gin.

Steve Bannon looks like every description of Wilbur Whately from HP Lovecrafts “The Dunwich Horror.”

Steve Bannon looks like he’s just one order away from having his next pizza from Papa John’s free.

Looks like MacGyver got stung by a bee and forgot his epipen.

can we maybe abhor the racism in this woman’s statement without tearing down melania? it seems obvious to me that this pamela taylor person just likes melania because she’s white and hates michelle because she’s black. it’s not really about whether either woman is actually “classy”. it isn’t melania’s fault that…

I hate the word “classy”. It’s so...worst parts of Vegas. Gold plumbing fixtures in the vague shape of a swan. It’s ornamentation of the mundane in order to pretend the ordinary has become the best. It’s not gilding the lily, it’s gilding a fire poker.