No! I was genuinely shocked to see it on the list. No accounting for taste, I suppose. 

Filed to: “Fuck You Joseph Epstein”.
Awesome. 

Definitely the latter, although don’t judge. His big 5-0 is looming which, take it from me, is a frightening prospect. One minute you’re rocking out to this new band Pearl Jam while sucking down your gin-and-tonicas, the next, you find out your grade school crush is a grandma and you’ve got more hair on your back than…

Yeah, I gotta push back on Warren too. She’s the real deal and a natural ally to Ocasio Ortez, IMO.
And please, more women socialist dems of color. I hope they run in goddamn Mississippi and Alabama too. I’m probably nuts, but I think America is on the cusp of a New New Deal moment. After forty years of tax cuts for…

Thanks Ashley. Just another reminder that elected Democrats won’t save us, nor will Mueller (although his investigation is vital). We have to save ourselves. So I say if we ever do see Trump’s hench-people out and about, we stay peaceful, we don’t act any more disruptively than necessary, but we call them out.
They’re…

Unions are the only way to save the middle class. Good for you guys and best of luck.

Oh man, imagine the editor who got stuck with this steamy pile of pitiful pretension? This paean to puerile, penile prerogatives?
Hey, holy shit, I think I’ve just come up with an idea for a killer meme generator! I’ll call it “Sean Penn, Literary Man.”
Seriously though, this pisses me off. There are god knows how…

I would pay good money to see a demented Goth ballet. Maybe that’s a niche market for Ivanka.

I did research on my own and decided to roll over an old 401K into a no-load (very low fee) index fund. When I called Fidelity, which handles the 401K at my then-new job, the guy kept trying to push me towards a mutual fund with something like a 1 percent annual fee (which is a lot, when you consider interest…

“Fresh flowers daily in the reception area. Boom. Done”
“But what about pay equality, harassment, family leave ...”
“I SAID BOOM. DONE. MOVE ON.”

Steve Bannon looks like the guy who would buy minors alcohol if you paid him.

Preach!
P.S. Here’s something else we can do. Only takes a sec:

Like Ryan Gosling, he too is handsome and known for a lack of expression meant to convey depths of meaning. What a coinky-dink!

Yup. To me “classy” is the precise opposite of what it’s supposed to mean. I always picture a Mob wife using that word to describe her plastic-covered furniture.

Of all who suffer, assaulted prisoners probably garner the least sympathy. I appreciate you letting us know of this chance to offer up at least a little comfort to these often forgotten victims.

Yes, the President and the First Lady of the United States are terrible role models for their children. I mean, becoming leader of the free world before the age of 50 — that the best you can do, Barry? Whatsa matter, Emperor of the Known Universe too pie-in-the-sky for ya, slacker? When Mal and Sash end up in a van…

I'm no Southern belle, but I've still found I can "relegate" household tasks with the ease of a hyena eviscerating an armadillo carcass. So there.
PS -Real easy to handle the chores when you have slave labor to do them for you.

This video makes me want to give away my kitten before it't too late.

Hey Jimmy Johns, here's my non-compete clause - I'm only ever going to eat at any one of your competitors, you tyrannical fucksticks. Burdening employees with all the hassles of upper management at only a fraction of the pay and benefits? Eat shit.

"How could I have 1.9 million followers and still feel so alone?"
Make all the jokes about her you want, but that's a searing insight about the true nature of so-called "social" media.