“I’m here for you Mom!”

She told her son something like “I want to be with Carrie”.

*sniff* Heaven just gained another aristocrat. 

Bob Uecker still holds that position from right down in the front row!

Ah Gilbert

“I’ve roasted a lot of vile assholes in my time but this guy is the worst.  This fucker invented fathom, pestilence, war, hunger, cancer, rape and celebrity apprentice”

The very first celebrity encounter I ever had in New York City was Gilbert Gottfried. I had just moved to New York after college and I was walking into a CVS in Chelsea and he was walking out talking on a flip phone with his head down and he ran right into me. He looked up, smiled at me, and in that iconic voice we…

The very first celebrity encounter I ever had in New York City was Gilbert Gottfried. I had just moved to New York after college and I was walking into a CVS in Chelsea and he was walking out talking on a flip phone with his head down and he ran right into me. He looked up, smiled at me, and in that iconic voice we…

I didn’t know “being a fucking asshole” was considered a fatal illness.

I don’t know if a corpse can be fucked back to life, but I’m going to find out!

Gilbert was cancelled before it was...a thing? I don’t know when that bullshit started.

In that spirit:

Shit, semen, blood, piss...

Bob Saget, Norm MacDonald, Gilbert Gottfried...The Roast of God is gonna be lit. 

Legendary, burned his Aflac contract to the ground making tsunami jokes when he didn’t realize most of their business came from Japan.

HE SAID “FUCK YOU” WHEN I ASKED HIM IF I WAS TOO SOON. BUT HE WAS SMILING AS HE SAID IT.

Okay, now it’s undeniable. Someone is murdering all of my favorite comedians.

The Aristocrats!