There are people that are good enough at their chosen profession to get away with being a complete abusive asshole. None of them are in the arts.

This could have been timed perfectly, but all of the Sixers fans in the world hate our team right now. I'll watch it in September when I'm not still angry that Matthius Thybulle can't hit a jump shot.

Do you?

I am a horrible, sick, depraved individual in need of literal years of therapy. And yet, I did not know that. Thank you?

Check out some German porn. Nukes got nothing to do with it.

And while we're on the subject, why wasn't Wayne Gretzky chosen to take a penalty shot in the 98 Olympics?

Square

What is it about losing a World War that makes you just go crazy sexually?

That won't even be in the top 5 worst things I put into my body this week

He's not a household name, but that movie was phenomenal.

Im 38 and work at a university. The idea of hanging out with and actually listening to a 23 year makes me want to hang myself. If you are in your 40s, pusuing a relationship of any kind with someone 20 years younger than you, you’re either a pervert or moron. Because, and I can’t state this enough, people in their 20s…

Tell you what, let's compromise. More old people in movies, less in congress.

I feel the same way about concealed carry as I do about transgender rights: I don’t care what you’re packing, so long as you don’t take it out and point it at me.

Amongst the dozens of reasons why he shouldn’t be a lawmaker, I don’t know how comfortable I am with someone who has been diagnosed with Disassociative Identity Disorder as a lawmaker. He openly claims that he has 12 alters and that one of them was committing the violent behavior towards his ex-wife.

Wheel of Fortune makes me feel like I’ve done nothing with my life.

It’s my fault. Mine. I’m sorry. I don’t pray. My prayer is the one that would have put us over the top and made god pay attention. Again, I’m sorry.

Addiction doesn’t get cured, it only goes into remission. Good luck, Steven, and congratulations on this step.

One of my favorite Norm MacDonald jokes. "They say if you're homophobic, then deep down, you're really gay. That worries me, because I'm afraid of dogs."

Hasn’t the poor woman been through enough? Forcing her to be Aquaman 2 just seems cruel.

So how far did she get in the drunk toss?