COUNTERPOINT: Carnations are lovely, and also all flowers are good flowers to receive.

I did Girly Activities™ where the competition almost always boiled down to whose daddy had more money could afford to pay for more private lessons/flashier outfits/better dance shoes/whatever. We didn’t have participation trophies, and it sucked so hard to be ten years old working my butt off and coming home with…

It’d be overturned on appeal + the couple can sue the county for a whole bunch of things. Hopefully they do, and then use that money to have their dream wedding and buy a house when they’re ready.

Foundation/powder + mascara for every day, DONE. Maybe a little blush if I’m feeling very fancy

I will fight people about 8 Crazy Nights. It’s super low-brow humor but it’s actually very fun and feel-good, especially given that “Hanukkah Movie” is (shockingly) something of a small niche genre.

Let’s all be real here, Gronk gets waxed

I’m going to be up front and say that I do not like grits and I do not understand them, but my point still stands about why a child would be, like, NOT INTO eating what looks like shrimp thrown over top of mush that has...red blobs of sauce randomly tossed over it

“It’s not made of pizza” is a perfectly valid excuse to not eat what looks like poorly seasoned grilled shrimp, wilted spinach, and either cream of wheat or a horrifically botched risotto. I wouldn’t eat that shit either, kiddo. Also, toasted cinnamon raisin bread is NOT cinnamon toast what the hell is wrong with…

The fact that her last name is a homophone of “fall” just makes it better for me.

Then you might have to go on an epic quest to find and rescue it when you get home. It'll make sad noises at intervals until it dies, I think.

I'd pick up shoes and baby toys, but my first Roomba experience was in a 1500sqft house occupied by a Pomeranian, two Corgis, an Australian Shepherd. It's got a little sensor thing so it knows to move around stuff. Sometimes it gets stuck in corners or under furniture, but it makes a sad noise so you know to go rescue…

Regarding sweeping, I cannot emphasize how much a Roomba will improve your quality of life if you live in a small-ish space and have no carpets. Seriously. It'll be the best $300 you ever spend. They also serve as one of those things you can talk to, and cats love them. (Get rid of your cat and get a Roomba instead to…

The rest of us sure are glad no one gives a flying fuck what you say about anything.

I just emailed you!

Yeah, the best "theme" wedding I've ever seen was actually a quite lovely Batgirl/Nightwing thing—his tux was a very dark navy and the vest/tie were that lovely blue from the fingerstripe iteration of the Nightwing suit, and she wore a yellow sash with her dress. The invitations were super wonderful and subtle,…

I don't see the Harry Potter wedding theme as indicating being unprepared for marriage, but I do think it's kind of tacky? Harry Potter is a childhood warm fuzzy for me. I'm excited to share it with nieces and nephews and my own hypothetical future children, but I'm not much interested in LARPing my own marriage. That…

My brother and his girlfriend were at a college football themed wedding last year...the cake was an accurate scale model of the Mississippi State stadium, complete with tiny cake-person fans. It was simultaneously the coolest and worst thing ever.

From one Austinite to another: Bring up Willie and/or Eeyore's birthday in casual conversation. If the person you're speaking to is familiar, move forward from there. I guarantee you will find other moms who smoke pot in that elementary school. Even if they don't, their partners and partners' friends almost certainly…

The camera on my 2013 Moto X suddenly stopped working a few weeks ago and I'm thinking about tracking down another Droid 4.

Since you've already been bumped out of the grey—the decision to prosecute doesn't mean anything in terms of guilt or innocence. You can be raped by someone with whom you've previously had sex. You can be raped by someone whom you invited into your home or your bed. You can be raped by someone during a situation that…