Nailed it.

+1

Careful, Tim, you wouldn't want to damage his sterling reputation.

I will happily give up a wedding if it means a nice-ish honeymoon and a house. I hate people anyway.

Finished A Confederacy of Dunces last night, and it was lovely. I wasn't sold until about the middle of the book, but by the end I was cracking up.

That's funny, because we feel the same way!

Gotta learn early to stick it to the man.

Hi! So, it's kinda nifty that I'm a lady who likes sports and comments on Deadspin because for the most part people aren't assholes about the fact that I'm a lady who likes sports! And, you know, it's kind of funny, because there's actually a lot of wild, incoherent rage on Deadspin posts just because I'm here. Did…

Reading your comments makes me feel violated.

Uhm. Bro. BRO. I suspect you might be new here. In fact, I know that you're new here, because you've colossally missed all the memos. But the joke was about playing for the Rangers. I know, I know. Reading is hard.

+1

Match throwing is something historians have grappled with for centuries.

I would kill for a home movie of that.

That's just silly, Milo, he's an outfielder.

+1

u r dum

Thank you for your input, friend.

Thank you for sharing. Your feelings are valid, and I want you to know that. I hope you know how much we all care about you.

You are objectively incorrect. Armadillos are way cuter.

#FireTomLey