Because it punishes success?

Alex Rodriguez has agreed to cover the cost of the settlement if Crawford agrees to lend him his pads when he's done with them.

I saw this guy doing the same thing on Breast Cancer Awareness Day. He was seated next to the two fans in the pink.

"Sometimes in life you've got to swing for the fences"

Well thank you for unlocking a repressed memory of a seven year-old boy pissing into one of these things in Maple Leaf Gardens. The only difference being those ones were accessible from all sides. Nowhere for the eyes to go but dong.

The two Senators from Oklahoma would have signed the letter if it included their suggestion to change the name to something less offensive, like "Red People".

If soccer pitches are going to continue to be visited by these spooks I better get on the horn with my broker and invest heavily in European banana futures.

The Canadiens should be seeking some advice from Mayor de Blasio. I mean if anyone knows a thing or two about getting someone up off the carpet ...

Barwin added about Nick the Dick that he was "impressed when they opened the World Trade Center, but this is a piece of work."

Try to stay current. If you believe the trends in internet porn, everyone's now saying that the correct way to fuck is to tongue-punch the asshole.

Her girlfriend Violet disclosed that the PEDs were extracted from a flower.

You may be right. I, however, have no doubt that French supporters have brought bananas to matches with every intention of throwing them. But when push came to shove, they sort of just laid them down.

The real challenge will be to see if the supporters of Clermont's opponents will be able to throw a tampon as accurately as a banana.

"While there is no doubt the incidents occurred, the conflicting statements and actions by the victim make this case unprovable as a criminal case."

Anyone else think they were about to watch a video of a Wayans brother teaching Michelle Wie how to play basketball?

I'm not ready to believe the man in the video is Keiser. So say he was there that night along with the usual suspects? I'm not buying it until I can hear him say "hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker".

Jeez dude, I can't figure you out. Based on your inability to see any humor in my joke I assumed the subject matter probably hits a little close to home for you. But after going through some of your comment history and seeing that you're someone who spends a lot of time on Jezebel, thinks people give a fuck about his…

Is the rod you're hoping to free the one lodged up your ass? Can you not gather from my initial comment that I understand that this isn't a homemade skate ramp? I'd like to try and explain the joke to you, but its simplicity and your obvious lack of a sense of humor tells me that would be a fruitless effort. Best of…

I suppose if they built those stairs themselves ...

If this were in his backyard, and dad just spent two months emptying his savings account to build this monstrosity, so that junior could cower on top of it, I'd say the nudge was justified. But because it's a public skate park I'll pretend to be outraged.