I'm confused. Why go to the trouble of kicking him in the neck when any sort of subtle contact likely would have had the same effect?

"The decline from a real pie to a lazily produced plate of foam"

Following the backlash from Dan's tirade where he assumed ownership of an African-American, you'd think he'd go with a picture not depicting his son raising the clenched white fist and showing three fingers across the belt.

PORNO PARODY: Although "Hairy Pooner: Prisoner of Assbanging" did have an all-star cast and some interesting camera angles, "Star Whores Episode VI: Return of the Brown Eye" showed the world the true power of the dark side from the business end of a lightsaber. WINNER: STAR WARS.

You forgot Chuck E. Cheese, IHOP, Burger King ...

With Bernadina, Ankiel, Nix, Marquis, and Hairston Jr. in that lineup, every game is like an All-Star game.

"Presumably, we're the best at the sport, since it is named American Football after all."

In case your asshole-trying-to-sound-enlightened filter isn't working:

In gay hockey, holding the stick doesn't lead to time in the box.

"How, exactly, a headscarf passes as dangerous is something of a mystery"

Is it safe to say that Griffey Pearl-Harboured Suzuki, or would that kind of insensitivity in the wake of the tsunami spark another nationwide search for a duck?

Try to follow along:

If you don't get the reference go ahead and google DM and ChristWire.

You know what else TAKES THREE FUCKING SECONDS? Checking the source of an article you attack in an anti-conservative rant to make sure it's not satire. Good job this time.

"If she were a man, she'd, uh, be a crummier version of Shabazz Napier, probably."

Speaking of bets - I'm betting Sinead could probably have found a better picture for her Facebook profile than one showing the top of her head approaching what appears to be a fleshy cylindrical object. Or maybe not.

Next time I'm in Thailand I'll be sure to ask for the little boys who excel with bare skin on wet wood.

Thought this would be a teaser for a Kirilenko jersey.

zub, zub, zub No-hitter in California zub, zub, zub He fucked Eddie Van Halen ... What?! Oh ... hey, he fucked Ginger from Gilligan's Island. Nice.

Gilbert Gottfried wonders will Bruce Pearl Harbor any resentment towards the University of Tennessee? Asian media outlets crucify him.