I beat my kids during Justin Beiber's halftime show last year.

These bitches put the HO in IHOP.

@BuDaMan: The trip from NJ to Manhatten seems longer to most because you're holding your breath.

Wait a second - I'm pretty sure Sidney Crosby's vagina was injured several times by sand last year.

Marvel Universe lists his superpower as drawing millions to watch him take up root in the cellar of the east while trading away draft picks for ill-advised play-off runs.

@Tully Blanchard Enterprises: A classic - I keep this edition in one of those plastic slip covers, along with my Kitty Pryde and Wolverine mini-series.

The Reverend Jackson thinks this looks accurate.

If that ruckus had brought down the plane I wonder if the cause of the crash determined by the black box would be black balks.

So let me get this straight. TCU is joining the Big East so that they can be taken seriously?

Austin Powers' French is terrible.

Does anyone else see a pair of interlocking swastikas in Qatar logo?

Frail Blazer.

Those bitches put the 'HO in IHOP. That is of course if this was an IHOP instead of a Denny's.

When Brodeur retires, Kovy completes his transformation into Yashin, and the team is forced to join the Nets in exodus, the real loser won't be the 1,100 die hard Devils fans but it will be the NJ taxpayer who contributed over $100m to fund construction of an arena whose sole occupant will be the Seton Hall Pirates.…

That's nothing. Once from my couch I solved "Haley's Comet" only being spotted the apostrophe. That was back when you used your winnings to purchase fabulous prizes from that merry-go-round. My psychic abilities have since dried up.

She wasn't the only nag to come in second today.

@MattinglysSideburns: 17 of those Sooners were kids at daycare. Hilarious.

@CJ4: It was impressive, but it only wins because the camera pans away just before the guy who gets dropped by the forearm to the back of the head and Russian-leg-sweeps the perpetrator to his back, unloads a flurry of blows to his face. That was some Chuck Norris shit going on there.

Dear Barbaro,

Please let this be about Gisele finding sext messages from dumpy waitresses.