I want to give him credit for spelling R. Kelly correctly, but I'm guessing he wanted to go with Are Kelly and just gave up.

@Lionel Osbourne: I hear they excel at stacking trouser snakes.

Every year I tune into this crap and wait patiently for one of those 6-year old bastards in the outfield to get dotted with a screaming line drive just so I can hear the silence of four assholes at a loss for words.

When Eldrick was excoriated for his indiscretions and this was largely met with silence from the Jackson and Sharpton camps, I thought to myself "If not them, than who will fight for the billionaire black athlete in this country?" Thank you Reverend Jackson for today restoring my faith in the opportunistic,…

Choose a white name. Check.

@The Person Mangino Ate: excellent.

ESPN executives are just glad the pictures weren't of Brooke Hundley.

I wonder if is son is who he thought he was?

Someone needs to let this guy know that when the "South" lost the Civil War he could no longer own black people. And someone also needs let the owner of their baseball team know that Columbus didn't make it to India.

I don't know about the threesome, but when Riley comes downstairs to coach them, he will demand to be called LeBrains.

I wonder if they'll bring Tirico back from South Africa to give viewers a creepy and homoerotic reminder of LeBron's height, weight and body fat percentage?

@titansfan78: Or a box of Kashi cereal.

@SignGuyDino: I thought the same thing a few days ago after the latest Zambrano dugout fight. He did a bit about how historically there are no all-time great Latino pitchers because they can't control their emotions. In typical fashion, he ran the gauntlet of complimentary adjectives (i.e. fiery, passionate) to…

@cromartie: You may also want to include effeminate, self-deprecating weasels who mention their J-school a minimum of twice per show, and love to identify coincidences as ironies. They're always paired with a #2 or #4.

Slow down Vicki, the Dutch have one more game.

Danica.Wie.Strasburg.

American Justice - intent to murder is excused for being a poor shot.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: With the new fake-and-bake tax in place, thousands of Guidos at the Jersey shore are eagerly anticipating some of that free BP tanning oil.

Looks like the Bobby Gonzalez-Fred Hill rivalry continues to the "worst way to go about getting a new coaching job" category. Your move Freddy.

$20m for Darko? That should be all the motivation Al Davis needs to invite Ryan Leaf to training camp.