“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

During the national anthem I was lying naked on my couch trying to eat corn chips off my chest without using my hands. I hope I didn’t offend anybody.

Lt. Scott Wrigglesworth: FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE NAME!!! I’M SICK TO FUCKING DEATH OF ANSWERING THIS- oh, you mean the NBA player’s name?

“You can only do that IN an NBA game, Draymond.” - NBA Disciplinary Committee.

That’s low-hanging fruit

Actually, I am surprised someone had the balls to report him.

“about damn time” -Steven Adams' testicles

If I were guessing, Broussard gobbled this one!! Are you with me, leather?

Is there something wrong with dick gobbling now?

Well looks like I have a new favorite Plummer in the NFL (Sorry, Tomsula).

W2 soon

That trophy is as evasive to Messi as Messi is to taxes.

After all of those years in the wilderness (and even beyond the on ice product - the free tickets, then the empty arena, the pretty obvious bilking of the county on the arena deal) it’s nice to see that the Panthers actually seem ready to ride the wave of prospects they’ve assembled and spend money surrounding them…

Wyh this now, Dwyane?

can't he appeal???

+4 games

Don't worry. Goodell has already suspended the account.

Die hard marlins fans exist?

I just X-rayed my game-used A-Rod bat. Are there any X-ray technicians out there who can help me analyze this?