WTF did I just watch lol. I love the eye-twitch that the erstwhile protagonist performs.

“I dont need anymore coop-ponds” Gets me every time!!!

this is hilarious! who gave this the Drunk History treatment? The girl that tried to buy the candles?

I love candle drama.

I’m Jewish, and I’m jolly as a motherfucker.

Do you think that our futures are not inextricably linked? We watched the election with great worry because your policies and politicians affect us intimately. We are massive trading partners and share an incredibly long border.

As a Canadian I love Aunt Jemima syrup.

That’s nothing. Margarine used to be illegal in Wisconsin. Not just selling it, possessing it. My uncle used to have to smuggle it across the border from Illinois.

People get pretty irrationally attached to their special foods, especially when their national or provincial identity is wrapped in those foods. As a Canadian, I admit that I thought of our neighbors in Louisiana differently when I saw them put some kind of Aunt Jemima corn syrup nonsense on pancakes. A “what the fuck…

I’m at work and being paid by my boss to act. I am asked to wear a hat, but I am insubordinate to my boss by refusing because of my own personal sports allegiances, thereby needlessly importing myself into the character I’m being paid to play (who is not me). By doing this I am costing a lot of people time and money…

If you can decorate, you can be minister of interior .

Ha! That’s what Laurence Olivier suggested to Dustin Hoffman,” My dear boy, why don’t you just try acting?”.

maybe Stassi can paint chevrons over them and call it art.

Yeah, the thing is I have a hard time taking this “Dylan doesn’t play by your RULES” thing seriously when he’s also endorsed Apple, Victoria’s Secret, and Cadillac, among others. I don’t think this is due to any particular stance over the Nobel prize and it would be a mistake to attribute it to that. I think he’s just…

YOU CAN PRY MY CHOKER OFF MY COLD DEAD BODY ERYKAH IT DOES GO WITH EVERYTHING.

I will never not love that dog under the faucet. He had such a hard day at the office, Thompson will NOT get off his case about the 15,000 in the budget that has to be cut and his secretary quit with no warning and he just...needs...just a minute to himself.

Majestic AF. Wish my dog would go swimming, but nooooo, she insists that she’s dry clean only.

Word to Chimimanda! Pregnancy culture is weird and I feel, heavily consumer driven. It’s annoying how before a baby is even born, everyone is expected to shop for it and celebrate with multiple gift showers. And now we have these additional “gender reveal” parties, a phenomenon so farcically self indulgent and…

“Why didn’t you post sooner??”

If she’s half as good at baby-making as she is at writing stuff look out for that baby.