:( Its awful and perfect.

No one steal my couple’s costume Halloween 2016 idea of me in a blonde wig and then shaving my boyfriend’s torso and writing ‘NICOLE 4 EVA’ on it, kay?

I’m torn about this: it would be a good demonstration for some people who seem to need it, but at the same time, it’s just as gross to grope some poor guy on an escalator.

I just found out one of his middle names is Mungo. I also just found out that Mungo is a name that exists and similarly can’t stop laughing.

Mungo.

Huh, don’t Florida tax dollars pay HIS salary? Sounds like “public assistance” to me!

That will teach him to send a minion to fetch his brew in future.

Big fan of how he attacks her for being in a coffee shop...at the same time he was in the coffee shop.

I have duck feet, too. It sucks. The older I get, the more impossible it becomes to find any shoe that isn't hideous.

I once dreamed I had sex with Hitler in a really tacky hotel room with a heart-shaped bed and ceiling mirrors. I glanced at myself afterward and saw I was the one with the hitler mustache. Pinhead definitely sounds like the more interesting sexual experience. Also, due to his special powers there is the possibility…

He cracked me up on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. He used to write the jokes in bazooka gum! He is my 7 year old self’s hero.

wouldn’t you?
If I was ever accidentally anywhere near Mr. Simmons, I would RUN NOT WALK to the nearest jacuzzi filled with hand sanitizer.

Are you like the aunt who goes:
“Oh he *also* liked some kind of dancing, invite him over!”

“But auntie Randilyn, he likes slam dancing and I’m taking tango lessons.”

“What, you’re so fancy you can’t learn a new step or two?”

Are you *team dog*?

Gene Simmons is REALLY starting to look like Tommy Wiseau’s Las Vegas Uncle.

At least it’s not a picture featuring Scott Eastwood’s douchey face.

Nicki’s shoes are kinda awesome but also kinda hideous, but not as hideous as Gene Simmons’ face—let alone his soul.

Guys I have been waiting to share this with you for five hours now.

I’m citing the number referenced in the article.