Burglar deterrent expert Kevin McCallister tells everyone to get on his level.

Precocious means more advanced than your age. So, in other words, you're saying he sounds intelligent?

Congrats, you're an abusive parent. Showing your kid not to be violent by being violent? Excellent strategy. That poor baby boy, why do you think he hits, when you show him that hitting is appropriate? And shaking? How old is he? I've seen one too many kids with fucked up vision from being shaken. But I don't think…

I think it's official - gluten has ceased to be a protein produced in wheat. It is now the Food Boogeyman.

The allergy one makes me remember yet again why my brother and sister-in-law have a fondness for Disney.

I hope that poor boy was okay after his parents insisted on him eating that food even though it had gluten in it.

Got into an argument last week because my husband put mayo in the mashed potatoes he made for us and he didn't say anything until after I'd eaten it.

Apple will continue to try to force FireWire and the Lightning cord or whatever it is.

With micro-USB, please.

72% of barefoot Kenyans at endurance running speeds, in this study. Heel striking isn't a new thing and doesn't owe its existence to modern running shoes.

That too.

Strange Synthetic Almond Liquid, you mean.

That 31 year old colleague sounds like they are more emotionally and socially liberated than you.

Chocolate milk is delicious and essentially just cold hot chocolate. I will drink it for the rest of my life.

Also, didn't know I would be posting picturezilla.

This is soooo my favorite argument against milk. If we quit doing things because other species don't, we wouldn't be wearing PANTS. Wait a minute, wait a minute …

Rebuttal: as stated already, lactose intolerance prevalence differs based on ethnicity. Using Asians or Africans to dictate the diets of Northern Europeans (who are largely NOT lactose intolerant) ignores the diversity of human evolution and cultural development. Natural selection shaming, Jezebel? Do you know no…

I love milk. I've never had cramps, bloating or the shits from it. Have drunk skim or one percent from childhood. And I don't drink coffee, tea or alcohol so FUCK THE HATERS.

No other species has fully-formed sentience, either, which isn't a terribly good excuse to stop using our brains to get on their level. I fart on this article.