I’m always afraid that one day, a combination of the dementia that runs in my family and my repeated watching of X-Files and similar shows will take hold. Then I’ll end up like this guy.

Because it is not the only thing she is famous for; it minimizes her very valuable work in the field of Human Education and objectifies her. She has parlayed that fame into something socially useful.

The groom’s rep released a statement that said: “None of things are true.” Meanwhile, 75% of those “things” sound like me at a wedding.

You get your tig ole’ bitties OFF MY LAWN!

back in the day?????? oh....right....yeah....back in the day. No one would wear that now.....(slowly slinks off to closet in order to change.)

I just read these out loud to my boyfriend (while laughing!) and he didn’t realise any of them were jokes and is really genuinely impressed with Taylor Swift right now.

Kat Dennings, you are wrong. Step to my punk-as-fuck teen self rocking the SLC Punk! white-thermal-under-white-tee action.

please read all of Demi Adejuyigbe’s tweets about last night’s Taylor Swift show ( a small sampling below)

I had an internship at a zoo in undergrad, and there was a note left about me one time. I explained that horseshoe crabs were an ancient species and you could see their relatives, the trilobites, in fossils from the Cambrian period. The dad got all huffy and asked how I knew it was “millions of years”, and I responded…

Fucking Cleavon Little. God he was so beautiful in that buckskin suit. Come for the comedy, stay for the Cleavon.

Mr. Nesbitt has learned the first lesson of not being seen: not to stand up.

And? Look, I’m not stupid. I’m fully aware that cats don’t talk. Cats make a variety of noises. Sometimes people think those noises sort of sound like words. What does it hurt to tell people on the Internet about how my cat sometimes made cat-noises that sounded like people-noises? I know he wasn’t really talking, but…

WHAT. That has wheels! LIES, ITS ALL LIES.

I had to mute. The shrill whiny voice made my ovaries curl up and die.

Hudsoneileenagency dismissed my comment. I thought it was so succinct. Guess he can dish it out..

What could the added value of a show entitled “What Men Really Think” possibly be? I’m bombarded with male opinions about things every day.

I read a yahoo article about this case and decided to read the comments (I know, know!), so many people were commenting things like:

I looked fucking awesome in my black fringe dress at my year 10 ball. Even better in my tight velvet dress in year 11. I hear ya.

Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling. Kardashian looks absolutely amazing in that dress. Wear it forever.