But what if a snake comes out of the drain in the bathtub while I'm doing my business? Then I'd have to jump out of the tub and that's harder than jumping off a toilet.

CHAMBER POTS ARE THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE.

It's unclear if Raines suffers from dementia or any other mental health difficulties that might have made him more vulnerable to being scammed.

Sandra Bullock is so gonna get another Oscar for the movie version of this.

Man, I was with a guy who complained that his dick was too big for a condom. I refused to have sex with him. I wish I would have been bitchy enough to be like, "Nah, playa, your dick is like maybe average. Maybe your problem is that it's uncomfortable bc the condom doesn't fit snugly enough." Men do realize that sex…

I just think it's ludicrous to expect anything, as somebody else's guest.

Don't they know they are actually defending Amanda Bynes' crotch from other women?

Right? All I can picture is sitting down for a pee and having a snake slither up the bowl and sink its toilet-soaked fangs straight into my pussy. Dear God.

LOL ITS SO MUCH BETTER IF ITS SCOTCH TAPE

:LKSJDV:LNISD:LKNLIJSDF

That was a nice detail. I'm picturing her crying and desperately hoping some weak-ass clear scotch tape is gonna hold and then the snake just busts right through the taped door BOOM!

Let me use cats to describe my disdain for snakes (except for snake wearing hats, those are cute).

[crybarfs]

taped the door shut

I love them because they are super comfy and make you look hideous on purpose. Men seem to hate them especially. I frankly love dressing in ways that piss of men, because MISANDRY!!!

I wouldn't even call it backpedaling. This is more like realizing your bike is going down a bumpy road and then suddenly jerking the handle bars and pedaling it full speed into a lake.

The tough cool guys are always bagging on people like food servers and customer service reps because they're so cool and tough.

That's actually not true.

"Do they know my job title and use it properly?"

No, but I'm not coming into your workplace and demanding your services. If it did, then you can bet that I would.

And of course, as such an experienced flyer, sir, you'd know that all of the things you're complaining about are legally mandated by the FAA and not actually…

I hated doing the seat belt demo. It's not done because the airlines think it's super fun, but because the government makes them. So shut up about it to your FA/Steward(ess)/Air Waitress. It's fucking mandatory, and they hate it as much as you do.