I have the same reactions anytime I’m getting ready to walk into a McDonalds.

I don’t know if Canadians ejaculate maple syrup or poutine gravy but whatever it is I’m guessing it’s all over the walls, carpeting, and maybe even ceilings after they’ve read that comment.

“Boy I remember a game at the Montreal Forum when I was coaching in Moose Jaw. The Maple Leafs were down to the Rangers 2-1 when Bobby Orr, as great a Canadian and hockey player that ever lived, stole the puck from that filthy American Mike Modano and then fired it to Doug Gilmour, whose children I would gladly bear,…

But was it the 23 window?

This should be easy.

Me. Me, me me. I. Me. Myself, I, and also me. Most importantly, me.

I can just see him doing housework.

They’re required to have a proper burial in Texas now.

You forgot the kid demo. I have a first and a third grader, and all the kids want is that fluorescent Under Armour shit. It’s a fucking bitch to clean when they stain it too.

Guess they finally tapped out the whole lucrative “fat people who frequent amusement parks” demo

Nobody looks good in this deal if it falls through. Actually, nobody looks good in this deal period.

69 is a sex position

*nods* I, too, have always missed my shots at 69.

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This is the most conflicted I’ve ever been over a post. Syrup: good take. Heinz: good take. Leaving ketchup *out* of the fridge YOU SICK FUCK.

Jolie, I spilled sprite on my couch, but you weren’t here to help me so I had to throw it out. :/

Monte Kiffin driving Lane Kiffin home after another dreadful performance from his son.

Straighten the curve.

Rex may have a gotten rid of the Bills wrap, but he’s kept the same mud flaps.