I didn’t notice, but now I love it.

I’ve always felt you could photoshop a Ghia with four doors and nobody would really question it.

I live relatively close to Michigan Speedway and have been to one race. That was enough. If anybody asks if they should go to a race I tell them they should to to one for the experience, but that should be enough.

“Kids these days want a phone that FLIPS!”

My mother-in-law has more tattoos than I do.

“I wish my work schedule allowed me to drink more” is exactly where I’m at with my job, too. 

When I first started at my job I thought the office had a serious HVAC issue. Turns out that sound is a “feature”.

At the end he mouths something (I think it’s “Fxck this... shxt”), which makes me believe he knew what was going on.

I’ve heard both “The machine is difficult to fill” and “The machine is difficult to clean”. I believe both, and refuse to accept either. 

For as well as the styling is being received, you could always go with E-dsal

Are you saying the auction to cover the damages from a Ponzi scheme may itself be some sort of elaborate Ponzi scheme?

“What’s on the corner of that form?”

Short answer: probably? It may be Wendy’s’. Nobody knows. I would just flip it and say “That Wendy’s commercial was a classic”.

We once went out to dinner with my wife’s family, and after I ordered a beer I was lectured by her little cousin on “How are you getting home? You can’t drive if you’re going to drink. You’re going to drink and drive and that’s illegal and you can kill people.”. My second beer went over even worse.

“Peas be with you... unless you’d prefer the corn.”

“Sure you’re squattin’ on my property but I’m an awful slumlord so joke’s on you, buddy!”

He found a loophole and closed it... around the neighbor’s cat, then flung it into a tree.

I’ll take a slice of that greasy shingle.