The company bought everybody pizza for lunch today, but I hung near the back of the line because I didn’t want it to look like fatty had to jump to the front for his hot slice. By the time I got up there the only kind left was some white pizza with mushrooms or something on it, which isn’t awful but would never be my…

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I think “We’ll see what we can do” says it all.

I like how if you take out the parenthetical “fat”, you’re left with “Rob does resemble a Bob Seger”. This is not a false statement.

“Totalled” is “totalled”; the insurance company doesn’t care if it was bought or leased when they come out to the telephone pole to write off the lime green Dodge that was just wrapped around it.

That’s a 40-watt take, at best.

A denim blanket sounds both horrible and fantastic at the same time.

And of course his first initial is E. It’s always E.

“Kulinary Krew” bothers me for three reasons:
1. Never change a C to a K. It’s never kool/kewl.
2. THERE’S ALREADY ALLITERATION WITH “Culinary Crew”! NO NEED TO CHANGE LETTERS!
3. You’re hanging out with a TV cook. You don’t need a name or uniform.

You gloss over the James Lipton phone call, then give us a paragraph on Josh Cribbs? What gives?

As a Detroit native, I feel I should just let everybody know that Jerome Bettis is from here.

GM was offering a 6-speed with the current generation Regal GS and dropped it after four years, so I can’t imagine they’re going to try again. Which is too bad, because I have one and wouldn’t hesitate to replace it with a manual version of the wagon if/when it comes out.

Kids gonna be a loner.

Seriously. The humidity there? Ugh.

I don’t know. This is one car that never really deviated from what it originally was: two seats, ten cylinders, manual transmission, rear wheel drive. It’s not like the current Charger where they can say, “Hey, it’s always been a big RWD car; we just added two doors.”

Somebody’s gotta look out for the little guy. I mean not literally, at least in this case, but whatever.

“It’s really hard to say if it was a coincidence” that Castro died while the 49ers were playing in Miami? Is he considering the theory that Castro waited until Kaepernick was playing a road game against the Dolphins to die?

Why does their response say “make America Great Again”? Why didn’t they capitalize the M in “make”? It’s not #mAGA.

/obligatory