<b>So understarred.</b>

After all this time it turns out Romney was right. Sorry Mitt!

This always gets me. I’m always so close to considering voting Republican and then they start thumping their Bibles and I get all turned off. As soon as Ted Cruz made mention of getting back to our country’s “Judeo-Christian roots”, I knew it was going to be either Bernie or Hillary for me.

So this cookie, but a human penis instead of a delicious baked good?

“Who dresses you? The state?”

I think she just plucks the stragglers that haven’t fallen out on their own yet, while sitting on the can.

I think part of it is just that the Grand Cherokee is smaller than it seems. We bought one when we had our first kid for the “cargo room”, but realized once you put a stroller back there you had no room left for anything else.

The blender always seemed like overkill on this thing. I don’t like the mess of blending when I’m at home; I certainly don’t want to deal with a margarita-sticky pitcher on the road.

The blender always seemed like overkill on this thing. I don’t like the mess of blending when I’m at home; I…

Every day I’m shufflin’, every day I’m shufflin’...

Pro tip: before getting married, hang out with your mother and potential mother-in-law together for an extended period of time. No urge to smash their heads together? Go ahead and propose.

Macaroni and cheese (homemade!) with cinnamon rolls. I thought my wife was nuts, but hoo boy. Not bad at all.

Children are also proud of their poops, especially in public restrooms.

His tech rant was followed up by:

I’m sure he had similar issues.

I was surprised that he knows the IT guy’s name, and doesn’t just refer to him as “four-eyes”.

Were you expecting “yammakuh”? I know I was.

Starred for FiDomi.

You just had to bring color into the conversation, didn’t you?

Two and done? Works for me.