Could really use that shotgun now.

WRONG, JOHN. There are no shots in the Cutler household.

I’ve been studying classical voice for over a decade. I have two degrees in music. I’ve been in so many operas I’ve lost track of all the people I’ve met. And when I hear the overture to Barber, I still hear those damn lyrics. I guess it’s a sign of how great the Looney Tunes writers were.

I don’t really want to watch this, but I can’t anyways because the video ad at the bottom keeps auto-scrolling back to itself while it plays. So...thanks, Kinja?

You knew exactly what you were doing.

Uncanny.

THANK YOU. I can’t believe it’s taken this long for someone in the media to bring up how terrible he is at this.

1. Tokyo 2020 is the Summer Olympics.

God bless the internet.

Every (fancy) dog has his day.

Oh, absolu... *dies of heart disease*

This guy knows what’s up.

You can get Entemann’s anywhere, though. My MIL has to send me Junior Cakes, and I hoard them like precious gems. I found them in the local supermarket once, and it was like winning the lottery.

It doesn’t matter what sort of gun you’re allowed to pick—you are not gunning down 15 wolves before they eat you.

I’ll give that a try next time I’m in the area.

Go big or go home: finish it off with an iced tea and a Tasty Cake.

This is true. My whole life, I’ve been a dog person, but I’m rooting for the Eagles for the next two weeks.

Immediately checked the byline to see if Dvora Meyers was now covering international child sex abuse cases in gymnastics...and only then realized how fucked the thought that there would be a regular writer for the “child sex abuse cases in gymnastics” beat.

Is “het” a typo or new slang? Fuck, I hate getting old.

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - “Mistakes and Regrets”