Ew.

Right? Lovely, lovely words! I'd be flattered!

That sounds wonderful—short-term.

"Donald Eastman, president of Eckerd College, a small liberal arts school in Florida affiliated with the Presbyterian Church"

Ooooooh, it's in Florida. He's from Florida.

Holograms?

Ugh, the hat would almost be a dealbreaker.

They have secret tunnels...or they teleport.

Sooo...you were basically out of fucks to give?

Did you also feel like throwing something? I felt like throwing something.

I actually worry for their safety a bit.

That is brilliancy in its most potent form. Kudos, you genius.

There is a product, I shit you not (sorry, couldn't help myself) called Poo-pourri, and it actually masks the smell. It doesn't make it smell like shit roses, or citrus shit, but it actually makes it smell lovely. Caveat—you have to spray before play.

Flawless.

I was once on a very short flight, not even half an hour, and my seatmate was watching the Duggars. I didn't bother watching anything, but I could hear her groaning, muttering angrily, and finally at one point, she tore out her ear buds and threw them at her screen in front of her. Looking at my shocked expression,…

No worries. I've been posting on Jez for about 5 years and I'm still grey. I just want to remain anonymous, and Kinja keeps resetting. So. Hi.

These are works of perfection.

WE'VE HIT THE BIG TIME!

Exactly! They're already violating me by telling me how I make them feel (uninvited) so that tells me there's more of that behavior. I'mma getting the fuck out of there.

LOL!!! Two-legged treatless wonder!!!!

Oh, well done!