Erm. Yeah. Now I've heard it all.

Ah JLo, I'm soooooo glad you're out there not whoring around and protecting the sanctity of marriage and your vagina. We should totally keep denying marriage equality to everyone because THEY would totally ruin the idea of marriage. *insert my sarcasm induced eye twitch here*

I had NO IDEA that we are to take our medicine by putting the pill bottle in the pocket of a man and having him rub it on me! I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG.

You're right, I can't see a necklace, either.

Oh good. A solid nod to the rib of Adam business. Fuck you Kia.

True Detective mindfucked me like no other story has in quite some time. Little priest indeed—I was mesmerized. It was so black, and good God, please don't ruin it by making too soft.

Seconded! Satan.

Hey man, no one here is judging you. We're pretty sex-positive. Who are we to judge consensual sexual interspecies unions? Ew, no, I would totes judge.

Someone please help me understand why this is a thing. Why do people try to look like dolls? Why is this OK? Why? I cannot compute.

This poor girl. No one around her seemed to have her best interests at heart. It breaks my heart to think that she died without feeling the nurturing that she deserved.

You are not.

I'm going to approach your question as if you're not trolling, although you seem to have only one comment in your history so that makes me suspicious.

I approach all cultural phenomena with curiosity. I want to see exactly why the screenwriter thinks Mr. Dornan (who is quite sexy) is deserving of the highest honor in…

I'm pretty sure once he heard Dog was after him, he ran straight into the waiting cuffs of the LAPD.

Let's nominate it for the Razzie now and get it over with.

I submit that 50 Shades IS a plague. *shudder*

I feel like I need to get off the grid and go into hiding around the release of this shitacular "movie." I hated the hype around the book—the movie will be worse.

Oh Reese. That's what happens when you let your uncoordinated inner goof out inadvertently by hitting the vino. But by fuck, I need that kind of joy in my life.

ANY PUPPY WILL DO THOUGH, RIGHT?

Oh yeah, full Eeyore mode is a perfect description. That and the trembling.

EXACTLY.