The Braves tried this with Bryce Harper, but Harper, not quite getting the spirit of the hijinks, cold-cocked the previous Blooper, who retired after his hospital stay.

surprised he didn’t dig his spikes into Blooper’s knee tbh.

Getting away from the Orioles can do a lot for a man’s disposition. 

Followed by Blooper arriving at the Padres team meal with a Popeye’s bucket full of San Diego chicken pieces. 

This is so much more wholesome than when Clark the Cub harasses opposing players for HJs.

Manny Machado: good-natured scamp.

Ugh. There are sober children in China 

Nearly five months ago, I suffered a severe brain hemorrhage while I was just standing around at a work party. When I collapsed, I fractured my skull.

I know that bringing up these kinds of things are going to be seen as “attacking” Biden with his media-appointed batshit crazy title of “Only Person Who Can Reach Trump Voters,” but for those of us who lived through Biden in the ‘90s (or even the early 2000's), it cannot be underscored strongly enough how wrong he is…

Yes, it’s an unusual injury from a cross-check. But if a cross-check results in a serious injury, the player who committed the violation needs to be ejected. That’s the chance a player takes when he puts another player in peril by committing a penalty.

I see Bryce is making friends already. 

Bryce Harper is a self absorbed asshole, huh? I can’t say I saw that one coming.

Thumbs into the eyes works too - I blinded my attempted rapist 20 years ago when I was just 19 - he was focused only on pinning my body and forgot about my hands .. I didn’t make the mistake of trying to punch him in the head because that would’ve forced him to protect his head.. first thing I did without hesitation…

They’re probably anticipating that. I’d stomp on his foot first - if you’re wearing a heel, even better.

Always kick em in the groin as soon as possible.

A friend of mine had a guy cum on her leg on a crowded public bus in Rome. We were all squished on the bus, trying to pretend we weren’t pressed up against strangers, and I hear her yell “Hey! Asshole!” and smack him on his stupid bald head. Everyone was thinking she was insane, but the bus just like got quiet and we…

There are guys that groan while using the urinal at work. It’s off-putting. There are also people that try to carry on conversations in the restroom. Then there was the guy jacking it in a stall next to me one time that was quiet as a mouse. I only noticed because I could hear that skin-on-skin rubbing noise. The…

I need more than one hand to count the amount of times. I encourage everyone to reconsider moving to New York City.

This Brazilian adaptation of Ulysses’s Nausicaa scene departs from the source material pretty significantly, no?

Our catchers are definitely butt.