Rudy Giuliani

Mountain Climbing: when CrossFit is not macho enough 

They moved the artisanal oxygen to aisle 4, next to the quinoa

Lizzo 2020 bitches 

“Four hours of mindless twerking” can also be used to describe the career of Cardi B.

She also had a lot of red flags for schizophrenia.  ah, the good old days when people like that were just “Quirky” and “outrageous” instead of being hospitalized like they should have been. 

Trump “is ignorant of government, of history, of science, of philosophy, of art, incapable of expressing or recognizing subtlety or nuance, destitute of all decency, and wielding a vocabulary of seventy-seven words that is better called Jerkish than English.”-- Phillip Roth 

Undiagnosed bipolar disorder ruins lives. 

For real, get a cervical collar for when you klutz out your neck. Use it at home, dont wander in public with it ffs. They really do help. 

Niki is on the hypersofts and on his way to the heavenly grid, lining up next to Clark and Ayrton. 

There they are Ladies and gentlemen, your 2019 Baltimore Orioles! 

He hosts trivia in Tribeca. Come up and egg him sometime!

Oh fuck this shitgibbon in the neck. Hes the bully who runs up the score because he caaaaan. Hes the fucktard at the bar smelling of way too much Joop! And ordering $400 glasses of whisky he knows jack and shit about, only regurgitated facts about mashbills and Japanese Oak. He cant smile with his teeth because…

The mat sometimes makes it worse, believe it or not.  The landing isnt truly supported because your feet DONT hit the ground first.  

Broken legs heal relatively quickly, all things considered. I am more worried about her knees. It looked like a PCL avulsion, as opposed to a PFL tear (patellofemoral ligament). I know this because I did the latter, and the doctor thanked me for not doing the former. Her ACLs miraculously appeared to hold together,…

3) Mark Hamill 

(As Sigourney Weaver, demented and panting, in GHOSTBUSTERS):

Also, lithium in the water supply. 

If there isnt a Deadspin Award for Best Video Game Come To Life, you should create one for this 

My freshman year roommate would throw textbooks at my head whenever she got anything less than a 100 on a test. Fucking calculus textbooks, too