I keep reading them because they seem to attract a lot of comments so I expect them to be getting better.

He used sarcasm

Did the boom mike dangle seductively into any shots?

NOW YOU'RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX!

Ha ha!

If a swimming pool is introduced in the first act someone must shit in it by the third act

But they got that sorta hot chick to pose for the photo!

I haven't seen that but it's clearly awesome

And your burps should rhyme…. Like poetry

Sounds like my cock!

Where the fuck have you been?

* flashes the signal for @Kirk Cameron Left me Behind to join the thread *

How do you feel about queefs?

A few hours after meeting my future wife I went into the gunfighter stance and farted.

In honor of the Honey Boo Boo clan, I have some paint we can huff

I'd fuck her

It was in the wallet you left on his nightstand

He drank a pitcher of sangria. So… half a bottle?

I'm a hetro guy who likes Jane Austen… woops, wrong thread!

This is a pipe: