All of my nopes.

I wanted to throw up reading this.

I'd love to hear him say aluminum, or as the Brits say, al-u-minni-um. I'd love to hear him say "aluminium pengwings."

Tell them no, Tell them no

My face reading the Duggars story:

I want a royals section of "They're just like US!" Prince Harry can have his movie date and William and Kate could like, eat McDonalds. Queen Elizabeth goes to a Korean spa. Like that.

I want those shoes, now please.

"That boob looks like a pantyhose filled with cotton. That boob looks like a painted balloon. That boob looks fake as hell."

The whole three of them look like she stole them from Barbie. Is there anything about this woman that isn't fake? The only thing she needs medical treatment for is attentionwhoreitis.

My favorite Russian cheese is a nice Tsarmigiano-Romanov blend. Unfortunately, they don't make it any more.

Yep. All he's showing her right now is that when she's unhappy, he doesn't care what it's about, he just thinks she needs another toy to distract her from whatever is wrong. You married a grown woman, not an infant. The only thing that will show her you can be a good husband and father is to be a good husband and…

Someone's been getting high and watching Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse.

hello stories pls

It's never so hot that you can't cover your ass and stomach with a thin layer of cotton.

Well at least this time The Duchess doesn't have to go through the tabloid part of her pregnancy with KK.

As do I. I love dogs, have worked with a rescue group, have two adopted rescue dogs, and donate money to rescue groups regularly. I really love dogs. But this poor little guy. Overbred, tiny as a mouse, and now has to live with Paris Hilton? Wrong on several levels.

Are you fucking kidding me? And yet I'm not allowed to wear the glasses I need to see.

Sad Barbie is sad.

I feel like this isn't a rap parody, but a Euro-trash club song parody. I also thought this was really really funny. I love The Lonely Island.

This is the weirdest swimsuit/cover-up combo I've seen in a loooong time.