Too soon.

I heard some rumors that this was staged.

Every Pitbull I’ve ever met was a sweetheart. They all just wanted that enormous, bony head scratched.

Also, not to be confused with “Love Dumper”.

Exactly.

That’s usually how it goes

Still works that way for milk in the UK. And for beer in Germany!

Our electricity bills are bad, but our actual water bills are nothing to sneeze at either.

Because we’re from the future.

Don’t worry. I’m sure someone will fuck Larry soon enough.

When washing your clothes makes them stink, then it’s time to clean your washer.
I can attest to this...our “freshly washed” smell became mildew.

It’s true. I coulda had it all...
Well...that very specific thing, at least.

My kid would literally SHIT HIS PANTS (not literally) if he got that!

Negative. “Yo shithead”, over here.
Just counting the minutes until they make that happen for me...

Right!?

available to rent for events or to save the universe

I lobbied hard to have my brother name his newborn son “Garchomp”.
Sadly, it was not to be.

The PROPHECY!! It’s ALL TRUE!!

Oh, thank Xenu!
I was very concerned for a moment that I look like the tennis playing obese toddler in the top pic.

Jets players posing for team photo