>I was nothing more than the hired mannequin

Beck Bennett leaving is a huge problem for SNL because he's the best straight man that they've got. Like he's a super underrated member of the team. As long as Kyle Mooney stays then that's all that matters. As soon as he leaves then there's shoot no reason to continue watching SNL.

I’ve never heard of anyone doing that for Pepsi. Branding is everything!

Iiiiieeiiii’ll only watch it if Debra Wilson plays Whitney’s character.

And IIIIIIIIII-EEE-IIIIIIIIIIII will never watch thiiiiiis! 

You mean the cubic zirconium accidentally fell out/was removed in a pre-planned arrangement followed by the insurance claim while the actual overvalued diamond (if it ever existed in the first place) sits in a hidden safe somewhere.

He should take A LOT of it, way more than recommended just in case. 

I .... I ... I love Red Delicious apples? Am I allowed to say that? Because I do and always have. Golden Delicious are also very good.

That gets him canceled? Jesus. Really? What ever happened to just saying, “Dude, that was a dick comment. Say sorry and don’t say that shit anymore.”

Watch out for the blueberry pie. 

The meaning of “four squares” in regards to meals sure has changed.

I think these freaky square things are too.

“Slays,” my ass.

She also didn’t get along with Richard Gere or Shirley MacLaine.

I’m going to quote my Raylan Givens:

“You run into an asshole in the morning, then bad luck, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day? You’re the asshole.”

She was in the movie until Madonna joined. That makes her a pre-Madonna prima-donna.

To be fair, she came up with that name when she was only seventeen...

Matthew Modine also imprisoned and experimented on a shaven-headed little girl after lobotomizing her mother 

Does anyone want get cremated and go condo instead?  That would knock the price down to around to <$50k each.  No pets.