I landed at CTG once, en route from NYC to Milan. (European flights in Milan land at the airport that’s 30 minutes from the city center; transcontinental flights land at the airport that’s 2 hours from the city. Fuck Malpensa.) My suitcase came out onto the baggage claim completely coated in mud on one side. It was…

Oh, you have a connection to make? Stand here for 20 min and wait for a bus. That bus will take you to the terminal, where you’ll stand in line for 20 min to get through passport control, then you get to stand in line another 20 min waiting for another bus which will take you to your gate.

O’Hare sucks if your trip connects through there. Anytime I’ve flown anywhere with a stop in O’Hare, we’ve been delayed at takeoff because O’Hare was backed up as hell. then of course since you’re late arriving, you’d better hope you can still haul ass to the gate for your departing flight.

Whenever I hear about the Frankfurt Airport, I am reminded of a old joke about the airport.

Compare it to DFW which has a similar passanger load. DFW, laid out sooo much better.

I flew out of john Wayne or Burbank whenever possible. So much better.

Tom Nook goes for the kneecaps.

I never even considered Reckless Silhouette Guy, but man what a son of a bitch he’d be in 8p Smash!!

No, I can’t do that. I’m not a monster.

Yep, it's just that simple! You fixed it! Way to go!

Is this the Country Kitchen Buffet?

They said the same thing about Colbert.

He is adorable and a half.

I could listen to him read the telephone book.

Did you play Galaxy 2?

AH GAHD STAHP I IS DYING

OMG. I mean, my cats are adorable and all but they can never know about this creature. They are too insecure to learn that something may be cuter. It's like a fluffy oversized baby version of my Polly.

And apparently men as well, given your trolling for attention.